In light of Bob McDonnell's lame excuse that his Master's thesis, written at age 34 - when he was married, had children, had served in the military, and was about to enter elective politics - was a mere youthful indiscretion, I've been thinking about what people historically have accomplished by age 34. I've already written about Martin Luther, who nailed his famous 95 Theses to the door of the Schlosskirche (castle church) in Wittenberg at age 33; and Thomas Jefferson, who was 33 years old when he wrote the Declaration of Independence. Here are a few more, with my snarky comments just for fun.Alexander the Great conquered the known world and died by the age of 32 (Impressive, sure, but did Alexander ever attend CBN/Regent University like Bob McDonnell did? Nope, didn't think so.)
Susan B. Anthony spoke at the National Women’s Rights Convention at age 32 (Reportedly, Bob McDonnell was upset that she wasn't at home cooking and sewing)
Buddha achieved Enlightenment at age 35 (As far as I can tell, Bob McDonnell still hasn't achieved enlightenment towards women, gays, and modernity at age 55)
Charles Darwin conceived the theory of natural selection at age 29. (Does Bob McDonnell even believe in one of the greatest scientific achievements in human history? What about his ticket mate, Ken Cuccinelli?)
Benjamin Franklin was 27 when he began publishing Poor Richard's Almanack
Jesus was crucified at about age 34
Martin Luther King Jr. was 34 when he gave his "I Have a Dream" Speech (Bob McDonnell had a dream at age 34 as well, to keep women out of the workforce and "cohabitators, homosexuals or fornicators" from polluting the traditional "mommy and a daddy" family)
Vladimir Lenin was 33 when he published his political manifesto, "What is to be Done?" (Bob McDonnell wasn't asking "What is to be Done?", he was telling the Republican Party what it needed to do in a 15-point action plan)
Meriwether Lewis completed the Lewis and Clark Expedition at age 32 (Bob McDonnell claims he was still searching for his own identity and belief system at age 34, but we all know that, in reality, he discovered it early in life and never lost it)
Thurgood Marshall was 32 when he first argued before the Supreme Court.
Karl Marx was 30 when he published "The Communist Manifesto." (Bob McDonnell published his own political manifesto at age 34, which he then worked to implement in the General Assembly for more than a decade)
Herman Melville wrote Moby Dick when he was 32. (Who is Bob McDonnell's equivalent of the white whale? Modernity, perhaps?)
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart died at the age of 35. Through his 34th year, he had composed roughly 600 pieces of music, including 21 operas, numerous symphonies, concertos, etc. (The words of Pat Robertson were sweet music to Bob McDonnell's ears)
Friedrich Nietzsche published "Human, All Too Human," at age 34. (McDonnell's masterpiece was entitled, "The Republican Party's Vision for the Family: The Compelling Issue of the Decade")
Pat Robertson established the Christian Broadcasting Network in Virginia Beach, Virginia at age 30. (And the rest, as they say, is history...)
