Speaking of fundraising, yesterday I received a letter (via "snail mail") from the Brian Moran campaign, urging me to give him money ASAP and that "I really need your help." Of couse, I get fundraising letters all the time, as I'm sure you do, but this one seemed unusual in its sense of urgency, particularly given that we're still in the primary, not the general election campaign. Here are some excerpts, with my blog-snarky comments in parentheses afterwards:*"Please forgive the unusual nature of this letter." ("unusual" is right!)
*"Circumstances dictate that I be both brief and urgent at the same time..." (wow, this is going to be dramatic!)
*"I am hoping that you will take me at my word when I say I really need your help." (yes, we take you at your word - your campaign needs help)
*"It's about the massive amount of paid advertising my opponent will be running all across the Commonwealth and his plans to increase his 'media buys.'" (interesting how Moran refers to "my opponent" - singular - given that there are THREE Democrats running for the gubernatorial nomination. So much for Creigh Deeds...not to mention the REAL enemy, Bob McDonnell!).
"The ads will range from subtly disingenuous to outright misrepresentation and distortions." (paging Tim Kaine, paging Tim Kaine, I think we may have a "tone" violation here you might want to look into!)
"They won't show a true picture of the man or his record" (no, they will be political ads, just like mine will be if I have the money to run them)
"But their sheer repetition will make them dangerous" (be afraid, be very afraid!!!! - lol)
"In the absence of accomplishments, well-placed advertising can buy a race" (translation: Terry McAuliffe has no "accomplishments" but he has a ton of money to deceive you all into thinking he does)
"Many people believe what they see on television. And my opponent has a vast television budget." (translation: I wish I had enough money to run TV advertising so I could convince "many people" too!)
"Yesterday, we had a major campaign meeting, and we all agreed that it is absolutely imperative that I respond immediately, from a position of strength" (translation: can we say, "panic?" Also, gotta love the "we all agreed" part; it's shocking - shocking, I say! - that all the paid staffers on a political campaign would agree with their boss that it's time to "respond immediately, from a position of strength." Must have been quite a meeting - lol!)).
"I won't spend the next three months 'playing defense.'" (translation: unleash the hounds, let the barrage begin!)
"I wanted to tell you personally that you can expect a forceful, aggressive response to these particular ads." (translation: I'd love to unleash the hounds...if only you'll give me the money to do it)
"The voters of Virginia deserve and honest debate of the issues - not a slick advertising campaign - and they will hear it from me." (translation: I want to run a slick advertising campaign too, but I don't have the money, so please give me money, did I mention money?)
"I will not allow this campaign to be hijacked by slick ads." (did I mention the words "slick" or "money" yet?)
"Sorry to be so cryptic, I'll explain everything in my next letter, but at this moment I only have enough time to ask for your help." (yeah, couldn't take an extra 10 or 20 minutes to write another paragraph explaining what I'm talking about here, much more dramatic this way!)
By the way, if you think I'm snarky, check out these comments on the letter from a friend of mine I showed the letter to:
*"Wow...Terry McAuliffe is very, very scary"
*"Oh no. If we vote for Terry, the terrorists win!!!!"
*"Oh my God! Terry must have made it into the cockpit! Send help NOW!"
